Memo: Russian Mob Boss
Re: John Wick
Just a quick reminder that Friday is our potluck dinner. Vlad, I’m looking forward to your wife’s chicken Kiev. If you don’t bring it I’ll kill you! Ha ha!
Seriously if you don’t bring it I’m going to cut off your balls and watch you bleed to death.
Anyhoo… we seem to have John Wick’s car. I don’t know why we’re keeping it. It has no intrinsic value. If anything it’s a liability, we keep losing staff because of it.
However, I do have a plan in the event of a John Wick attack. It’s a bold four-step strategy, and if we all do our part we’ll all be eating that delicious chicken Kiev. Right Vlad?
1. Let him have the damn car. Don’t fight him for it. Just let him take it.
2. Let him drive away with the car. Don’t chase him. It’s not worth it.
3. Detonate the bomb we put under the driver’s seat.
4. Chicken Kiev
He could dodge bullets and murder every one of you with a pencil but he sure as hell can’t escape 200 pounds of plastic explosives can he?
Thank you for everything you do, lets get back to work.